Is Infidelity Predictable?

Infidelity is a relatively common yet potentially devastating occurrence in romantic relationships. Given the heartache and disruptive nature of affairs, it could be beneficial to determine whether there are factors that might make infidelity more likely, which could, in turn, help couples buffer against the likelihood of infidelity occurring in their relationships.

The Study

In a new study published in The Journal of Sex Research, authors explored whether they could predict the likelihood that someone might engage in sexual infidelity and online infidelity by looking at several personal, partner, and relationship factors.

The study consisted of two data sets. The first included 891 participants (62.5% cisgender women, 31.3% cisgender men, and 2.8% genderqueer individuals). Most participants (53.9%) were heterosexual, 21.2% were bisexual, 11.3% were gay, and 6.7% were lesbian. The majority (88.4%) were White, and most (62.7%) were married or cohabitating with their partner. Approximately one quarter (24.5%) had at least one child. The average age was 32.7 years old, and the average relationship length was 6.21 years.

The second data set was comprised of 202 mixed-sex couples. The mean age was 32.5 years old, and the majority (93%) were heterosexual, 5% were bisexual, 1% were questioning or uncertain, and 1% identified as “other.” The majority of participants were White (89%).

To determine whether participants had engaged in sexual infidelity, the following question was asked: “I had sex (e.g., vaginal sex, anal sex, oral sex with someone other than my current partner”). To determine whether or not participants had engaged in online infidelity, the following question was asked: “I interacted sexually with someone other than my current partner on the Internet (had chat room sex, webcam sex, etc.).” Responses were coded as either “yes” or “no.” The study did not look at emotional infidelity.

Across the two data sets, the authors explored a total of 96 variables of interest, which included several demographic details (e.g., age, gender, ethnicity, education, etc.), sexual desire (both individual and relational), sexual satisfaction, relationship satisfaction, attitudes toward sex, engagement in various sexual behaviors, and attachment style. Then they looked to see whether any of these variables of interest might predict the likelihood of engaging in sexual or online infidelity.

The Findings

A notable minority of participants indicated they had engaged in infidelity. Specifically, in the first data set, 32.0% of participants (43.4% men, 25.7% women) reported engaging in sexual infidelity, and 26.6% (41.6% men, 18.5% women) reported engaging in online infidelity. In the second data set, 17.5% of participants (18.8% men, 15.9% women) engaged in sexual infidelity, and 14.1% (16.8% men, 11.4% women) reported engaging in online infidelity.

Overall, participants who scored higher on relationship satisfaction were less likely to engage in sexual infidelity (while lower relationship satisfaction was linked to a higher likelihood of sexual infidelity). However, the authors noted that some delighted couples were also more likely to engage in sexual infidelity, suggesting that some people who engage in sexual infidelity may still be in happy, satisfying relationships.

A higher likelihood of sexual infidelity was also related to stronger solitary sexual desire, longer relationship length, and more liberal attitudes towards sexuality. In contrast, those with greater sexual satisfaction and higher scores of romantic love predicted a decreased likelihood of sexual infidelity.

For online infidelity, never having anal sex with one current partner decreased the likelihood of engaging in infidelity (which the authors hypothesize could reflect less liberal attitudes towards sexuality). Additionally, greater relationship and sexual satisfaction were related to a lower likelihood of online infidelity in the first data set. Higher scores on romantic love were associated with a lower likelihood of online infidelity in the second data set.  Higher levels of sexual desire were associated with a higher likelihood of infidelity across both data sets.

What Do These Findings Mean?

The findings from this study suggested that predicting infidelity is only somewhat possible.

However, relationship dynamics (relationship satisfaction, relationship length, sexual desire, sexual satisfaction, romantic love, and engagement in some sexual activities within one's relationship) were consistently the top predictors of infidelity across the two studies and genders.

Additionally, those with less permissive attitudes towards sexuality had a decreased likelihood of infidelity, while those with higher liberal attitudes were more likely to engage in infidelity.

Finally, while some of us may hold the stereotype that men are more likely to cheat than women, in this study, being a man was only an important predictor of past online infidelity in one sample. The authors suggest that this finding supports a growing body of research that has similarly suggested the perceived gender gap with regards to infidelity is decreasing.

The Takeaway

The findings from this study suggested that there is not one single factor–or even a few key factors–that can predict whether one will engage in infidelity or not. Rather, the findings suggest several factors that, together, may predict whether someone is more or less likely to engage in infidelity.

That said, the biggest and most consistent predictors of infidelity were relationship factors and sexual desire. The authors suggested that by addressing underlying relationship issues and discussing sexual desires and sexual needs in our relationships, we may reduce the likelihood of sexual infidelity.